Bonsai the Cat

This thing still on?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:00:00 +0000

Rolled out of my fleece pet bed this morning and for some reason thought of my blog. I've been reading on the interwebs that personal blogging is dead and people are moving to a quicker/lazier method of self infatuation like Twitter and Facebook.

ack. My female human and the darn dog are back. I shall now be let outside so I can eat the migrating poultry this spring time weather provides.

One year update.

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 23:23:00 +0000

It has been an entire year since I've blogged. Very little has actually happened in that passing year. I'm a bit fatter, but who cares. I've grown accustom to fine fresh catnip (no more dried stuff during the summer please). The darn dog has gotten bigger, yet somehow more wiggly. I've moved houses. Ya. I remember now. This new house has slippery floors. No carpet to dig my claws in as I chase the dog around. I just slide; skid around. Ya, not a fan of that.

So. Here I am. Sitting. Looking out the window at the dirt pile I'd like to roll in. You see.. I'm a bit more country now and we all know country people don't blog very often. Country bumpkin.. yet highly refined. Hmm. Or just lazy. Where's the dog?

Ha!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Tue, 02 Aug 2005 22:58:00 +0000

I just ate a rubber band right in front of my male human. I showed him! Now off to poop it out. Snicker Snicker.

Happy Birthday Cassie

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 18:27:00 +0000

Stttreeeeetttchhh... My. It has been awhile. Well, don't worry, I'm sure it won't last long. Since the humans are gone at work and I read on the calendar and recall from my amazing memory that it is indeed Cassie's birthday. On that note, I didn't flop on her face this morning to wake her up. There. Happy birthday.

Now, I figure I should let that slobbery mutt in now so he can say his piece. Good god. Ug. Well... here goes.

Dumb Dog

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 19:13:00 +0000

Despite what that stupid teenager of a dog said, I haven't blogged much because I've been too busy studying Zen buddism. Not because I'm too lazy. Honestly. All HE does all day while the humans are gone is lay in his doghouse sleeping with his drooly tongue hanging out of his mouth. I do not comprehend why my servants - er, I mean my humans - insisted on getting him. Perhaps I should encourage them to study the art of Zen as well. It might help them understand the lack of logic in their decision. And then they'd get rid of him, and I wouldn't have to worry about avoiding his un-meditative presence in the house anymore. Although I might miss the exercise I get from letting him chase my around. Soooo amusing, him thinking that he actually has any chance of catching me! Meow! He he he.

OK, go away now, all of you. I'm busy elevating my consciousness. And don't forget to feed me again like you did the other night, or I'll do cat yoga on your chest while you're trying to sleep.

Chin Chin and Worms

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Tue, 23 Nov 2004 04:56:00 +0000

First off... Welcome Chin Chin. My owner's Grandma was itching to get a kitty. She decided that she liked Siamese kittens (who knows why). Not sure how I feel about that. But, he is a cute little booger.

On another note. My female human took me to the vet awhile back (I've been too embarrassed to post about it). The damn vet, after they shoved a thermometer up you know where, she had the nerve to inform my female human I had worms. How embarrassing. I consider myself a clean cat, and after all that work. Sigh.

The vet tried giving me a pill right then and there to help with the problem.. I spit it out. Ha! Then my humans tried giving it to me later that night by sneaking it inside a piece of cheese. Sneaky devils, I didn't notice it until I crunched... and then it was too late. The worse part was what happened next. Along WITH THE PILL, I had some liquid crap I had to eat. They tried forcing it down my throat, that didn't work... I squirmed too much. Then they tried the cheese, but I'm too concerned with cheese pounds. Finally, I gave in and licked a bit of it off my owner's finger. You can live on it.. but it taste like .... My owners then kept trying to make me finish it.. Blah!!! Finally they got so fed up, they wiped the rest of it on my paw. They know me too well. I have a cleanliness fetish and I just had to lick it off. Arg... Humans 1, Bonsai 0. For now anyway...

Charlie? Charlie who?

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Fri, 29 Oct 2004 15:06:00 +0000

Who's this Charlie I keep hearing about? I have yet to see any proof that he is a cutie. Perhaps he is a little young... but what's wrong with that? ;) ;)

Perhaps I'll search Flickr for some pics of big tough male tigers in the mean time...

Sigh... I can relax now...

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Thu, 23 Sep 2004 21:23:00 +0000

Well, after much excitement, stress, and confusion, I am now settled into my new home up here in beautiful Northern Idaho. I like the rental house my humans have because it has lovely windowsills located around the entire place so I can lay in the sun all day long! provided that it's actually sunny that is... There are lots of other cats running around outside I can look at them with great superiority out the window if they come too close to my territory. I've also been helping out my humans by chomping on all the bugs that are in the new house and then leaving the squished carcasses there for them to find. I know my female human hate spiders, so I try to bite all of those. I've also been helping her unpack! Since my male human is lucky and gets to run off to his job all day, she's stuck unpacking the 70+ boxes that the moving humans left. It really helps her when I job inside the have empty boxes when she's not looking so when she reaches inside to get something, there I am!

My New Sleeping Place

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Wed, 08 Sep 2004 05:19:00 +0000

My owners bought me a new sleeping place! I heard them talking about moving or something like that, but Cassie brought it home and stuck a treat and catnip inside (yes, I'm a sucker) and it instantly felt like home. A nice cozy retreat from the noisy apartment and Mike's chair which I constantly have to battle for. My owners are quite nice actually, now I just wonder what the lock on the outside of the door is for. Odd indeed.

Catnip

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Tue, 17 Aug 2004 21:42:00 +0000

My owners grow fresh catnip for me (for I don't have a license). While this is sweet and all, I find it annoying that I don't have unrestricted access to it. It just sits there, outside my window all day. When the breeze is right, I can smell it from everywhere in the house yet it is outside my reach. Do my owners not trust me? Why can't they put a pot inside and I'll just nibble on it whenever I want? They trust me with the kitty grass, why not the catnip? This whole thing just fills me with woah.

I AM FAMOUS!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Mon, 02 Aug 2004 16:57:00 +0000

Hot damn! I got my first modeling gig. Intermountain Pet Hospital (quality care with a loving touch) has used my photo on their homepage. I suspect this will not be the last time you see my cute mug on the web! I look quite dashing I must say. Quite dashing.

My owner's arm

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Fri, 16 Jul 2004 22:38:00 +0000

I have just determined that the back of my male owner's arm is quite
tasty. When I want to be petted and he is at his computer
(happens a lot), I just jump up on the arm of the chair and start to bite
his arm. It works 100% of the time. I recommend this method
to everyone!

Since it's your birthday....

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Thu, 08 Jul 2004 16:20:00 +0000

Dear Female Owner (although really I prefer to think of you as my "servant")

Since today is your birthday, I shall let you have the computer chair. And I won't even complain. I hope you have a wonderful day! I shall do my part by looking adorable, playing bouncy ball fetch with you, and purring lots while I sit on your lap.

Happy Birthday Female Servant! er, i mean, owner.

- Bonsai the Princess Kitty

p.s. Sorry for biting you when you picked me up off the chair earlier. Whoopsies.

Happy Birthday Cassie!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Thu, 08 Jul 2004 15:53:00 +0000

This is the first birthday of my female owner that I have been here to witness. If the large amount of boxes, bags, and wrapping paper are any indication.. I think I LOVE birthdays!!

Just want to say a little note to my female owner that I sure think you are swell! Hope you have a wonderful birthday!!
-your favorite princess kitty.

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Wed, 07 Jul 2004 04:42:00 +0000

My female owner (who I adore) fluffed a pillow on the couch. I took this as an invitation for me to take a nap. I don't need MUCH of an invitation when it comes to that. It was a fine nap until my male human decided to take ANOTHER picture of me with his new camera. The flash is really bright and it woke me up. It was a really good nap... a really good nap.

The evil moths shall perish!

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Fri, 02 Jul 2004 04:32:00 +0000

I have been challenged of late by a flock of pesky moths, that flutter tauntingly outside the windows of my human's home. They flitter back and forth just out of reach... if they would only come a little lower I know that I could somehow escape the window and jump out and eat them up! Not that I think they'd taste good... but they're pissing me off! Sigh... now I'm all worked up. Back to the couch for a nap.

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Thu, 01 Jul 2004 23:14:00 +0000

I know you just got a new camera.. I shall give you an action shot!!! HAHAHAHA. Your foot stinks...

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Thu, 01 Jul 2004 20:15:00 +0000

Ahh... that's the spot. Goodnight all.

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 04:38:00 +0000

There it is! My precious..... My precious.....

While my owners were out bowling...

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 04:46:00 +0000

This is how they found me. All covered in the evidence. The wonderful, smelly, green evidence. While my owners were out, I witness that they left in such a hurry as to leave the cabinet door containing the spices open. I played it cool, laying in MY chair, until I heard them drive off. Then, quickly and ever so gracefully proceeded to pull down a baggie containing my favorite spice... CATNIP. The twisty tie holding the baggie closed proved to be no challenge what-so-ever. I ripped right through the plastic and spread the entire contents across the kitchen floor. I know I have a problem as much of the cat society does, but man, that stuff was GOOOOOD. I rolled, frolicked and pranced around in the green wonder for 2 hours. I got a bit dazed and felt a bit guilty, but the guilt was only passed over by the wonderful high I felt. Like the ye ol' days of kittenhood.

My owners thought it was amusing and didn't have anything bad to say. In fact, they just starred and laughed. What wonderful owners to recognize I have a problem. They did clean up the mess, but not before I could get one last sniff.

Ahhhh!!!!

My Chair

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 00:24:00 +0000

Here I Am Once Again Taking My Chair From Its Rightful Owner. When Will They Learn...

Ode to the left lower corner of the bed

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Tue, 22 Jun 2004 16:42:00 +0000

Just wanted to give a shout out to my new found friend, the left lower corner of my human's bed. We've been spending a lot of time together as of late and I just wanted to voice my appreciation. Here's to you bud...

A Picture Share!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Wed, 16 Jun 2004 02:56:00 +0000

Me And My Fuzzy Ducky Taking A Nap :) Ah, This Is The Life...

A Picture Share!

noreply@blogger.com (Mike) — Wed, 09 Jun 2004 21:26:00 +0000

I Bumped My Head While I Was Wrestling A Fierce Bouncy Ball Yesterday. My Left Eye Is A Little Squinty, Which I Think Gives Me A Rakish Look. Im Spending The Day Resting So Ill Heal Quick And Then My Owners Can Stop Worrying. Im A Tough Kitty!

Hahahaha! Evil kitty laugh...

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Thu, 03 Jun 2004 04:51:00 +0000

Mwahahaha... my humans think that they can ignore me while they're sleeping. I lick their faces, step on their hair, and meow in their ears. It used to work, but lately... they haven't been responding. They just snore, snore, snore. Bah. But I showed my female human last night that she has been neglecting her duty as initial morning feeder and attention giver. As all of my previous methods have lost effectiveness, I invented a NEW one. There she was, flopped on her back, mouth open, peacefully sleeping (read: ignoring me!). Needless to say she was quite surprised when I flopped right onto her face, fuzzy belly down. That woke her right up, yes indeedy. Apparently humans place great importance on breathing. Mwahahaha! She shall no longer ignore me, Bonsai Empress of the Universe. And once I have her trained, I shall move onto the male human. And then, the rest of the human race! But first, a nap on my male human's chair.